Correcting Through God's Word

Let me start this blog post with a huge helping of humility pie and a reality about me and my family - I am NOT the perfect parent nor are my children perfect kids.  I hesitate to share this post simply because I would never want any of you to feel like I have it figured out or I "must" be a good parent.  We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world and I have my fair share of moments with my kids I wish I could do over and there are days no matter how I correct my children they are bent on fighting with each other and I'm tearing them apart over a barbie head that Cole just "had" to pull of the body!  (drives me bananas and I often think if I am sane by the time my kids hit 21 it will be a miracle straight from Jesus)

That being said, using Scripture to correct children in the midst of discipline is something my husband and I have always tried to do.  It has come up recently in several conversations and at the urging of my friend Brittany I decided it was time to write on this subject.  So read this blog knowing I'm not perfect and my kids are still young 10 8 and 6 - meaning I can't say "look how they turned out follow my recipe"  cause they are still in the oven baking!

Here is how my husband and I arrived at our decision to correct through scripture:

• 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

I know this isn't rocket science, but since scripture says that God's word is useful for teaching rebuking, correcting and training for the purpose of equipping (which pretty much sums up our job as parents) we felt we should correct through God's Word.  You see God's Word is sharper than any 2 edged sword and most of the times when correction is needed with my children it is a heart issue.  Sure there was a bad behavior but the behavior is simply a symptom of a bigger heart issue.  Ben and I know that our words are just words, but God's Word is alive and active and if anything can change a heart issue in our children it would be God's Word not ours.  It also takes us out of the correction and makes a bad behavior an issue between God and my children.  

Lets take Complaining as the example:  if I am seeing a repetition of complaining coming out of my children I'll sit them down and pull out the Bible we will read a couple of verses about what God has to say about complaining like :

• Matthew 12:34 - 35 For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.  A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.  
• Philippians 2:14-15 Do everything without grumbling or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.  Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky.  

Together we will read through these scriptures, talk about the meaning and why God would have verses in the Bible on complaining and why it is important for us to watch what words are coming out of our mouth.  We will take a couple minutes to pray and ask God to help us not complain and instead to help us store up good.  Then throughout the rest of the day if we catch ourselves complaining I can remind my children not of my words but of God's Word on complaining.  (oh and side note the kids love catching me too! Scripture is equally good at correcting Mommy and kid!)

Often times we will come up with a sign for the verse too.  Like the Matthew 12:34 - 35 verse led to us talking about our words being like throw up (gross I know but I've got a boy so run with me on this!)  We can throw up good words out of our mouth or gross nasty stinky complaining words.  When I hear my kids complaining I can simply gesture like I am throwing up and they will give me a smile and know that God's word talks about not "throwing up" complaints from our mouth and the conversation is changed.  I especially love this when we are out at a friends house or in public that I can simply bring God's word to their mind by a gesture.

There are times when situations are more serious like when I see anger or fighting that I will sit my kids down and make them write out the scripture or even memorize the scripture and consequences come too with these types of bad behavior.

Also if I notice a certain behavior becoming a pattern like laziness I'll make sure our family devotion time centers around that theme.  I have noticed that when I proactively parent in this manner a lot of times the Holy Spirit will convict my kids and I won't see the laziness come up again without me ever having to correct it.

We have to remember as parents that each time a bad behavior needs to be corrected it is simply another chance for us to help mold and shape our children and direct them back to Christ.  It is a beautiful gift we have as parents to watch the Holy Spirit transform our children lives.  My prayer is always that I never get to busy to notice His transformation in them.  The beauty of correcting through Scripture is that I become more and more dependent on God's Word and He molds and shapes me in my dependency of Him.