They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but today this picture needs some words with it. Words of praise and adoration to my King who saw my path well before I did and brought me to this picture today.
Christmas 2013 - I was decorating the house for Christmas and hanging my stockings. My family had been in the adoption process for over a year. At this time we were adopting from The Congo. I don't know if you've ever had this happen, but there have been moments in my life where I have "heard from God" - now maybe I didn't hear an audible voice this day, but I felt such a clear impression on my heart, a whisper as I hung my families stockings. I knew with everything in me that the Lord whispered enjoy this Christmas with 5 stockings because I would never have so few stockings on my mantel again. These stockings hanging throughout the Christmas season were a sweet reminder of God's promise for our adoption. I told my husband and 2 friends of God's promise from that day. I told them in part because I felt crazy and in part because I was anxiously waiting to see this promise fulfilled and wanted to be able to rejoice with them when His words became reality.
And then we heard the news - Congo had shut down their adoption process, no exit visas were being given and the adoption agency we were adopting with was shutting down. The next few days were a blur of mourning and pouring our hearts out to the Lord, moments of deep grief and moments of anger. I remember crying out to Him saying "Lord, you told me I would have more stockings by next Christmas and there is NO WAY we can start another adoption process and have them home by next Christmas" . . . little did I know.
Hope was hard, tiny, and quivering daily. I clung to His word in these days!
Psalm 31: 24
Be of good courage,
and he shall strengthen your heart,
all you who hope in the Lord
Psalm 71: 14 - 16
But I will hope continually,
and will praise You yet more and more.
My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness and your salvation all the day,
for I do not know their limits.
I will go in the strength of the Lord God;
I will make mention of Your righteousness,
of Yours only.
Psalm 119: 49 - 50
Remember the word to your servant,
upon which You have caused me to hope.
This is my comfort in my affliction,
for Your word has given me life.
I could list hundreds more verses, especially from the Psalm. I poured my soul in them constantly and He quickly brought me comfort. After a few weeks of seeking the Lord, my husband and I still felt like the Lord was calling us to trust Him and push forward with the adoption process. I won't go into all the details of the adoption right now (I could write a book on that!) but I will say that the Lord gave us very clear direction that He had our children already hand picked for us in another country.
We started the adoption process in Guyana and I clung to the fact that the Lord had told me my home would be filled with more children by Christmas. In truth I felt crazy, overseas adoptions never happen in less than a year. I knew by human standards this was impossible, but still I continued to hope. It was small pathetic hope many days, questions of "God, did I hear you right?" were prayed more times than I would like to admit.
Isn't this the essence of hope? Hope by definition is the expectation of something to happen. Ann Voskamp says it best "Sometimes believing in a miracle feels a little like living in a mirage. You can feel like a fool, walking around with your pitcher" My hope felt crazy, unseen children in an unknown country and my home filled with these children by Christmas. Still I clung to this hope, somedays it is all that pulled me through as I army crawled through the day - just one more paper to fill out, one more signature to be notarized, one more check to be mailed all with waiting expectation.
And true to my Savior, He kept His promise to me. My home is filled with my babies, I do not have 5 stockings hanging on my mantel this year. Instead this beautiful Christmas I had the humble honor and privilege to hang 7 stockings on my mantel. Tears sting my eyes daily as I look on those stockings and remember His words of last year, remember His whisper to my heart. In typical - God's going to show His power, no human standards are going to confine or hold Him back - we were able to bring home our children not by Christmas or even Thanksgiving, but before Halloween!!! Can I get an AMEN!?!
We serve a God who is the author of Hope, it is the heartbeat of our faith. The Old Testament is filled with the Hope of the coming Jesus. The New Testament is filled with the Hope of His return. We are and should be defined as Hope people. Let this be our definition our character the sum up of who we are - People of Hope!
In His Love,
Jenny
